He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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