I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
