Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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