and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
