oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
bring money and cleavage
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
