I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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