their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
