I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
