I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
