I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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