I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
