I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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