He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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