just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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