We need to rekindle our bromance
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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