Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
