Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
honey bunches of taint.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
