Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
