she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
