...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
