This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
