Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
