Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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