i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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