I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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