She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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