Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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