Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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