There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
