One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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