sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
