he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
