i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
