i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
