Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
