I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
