not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I got inside last night via doggy door
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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