kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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