So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
