I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
