Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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