yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
