No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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