everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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