I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
