ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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