Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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