Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
