she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
