I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
